You’re totally spot-on with the edits. The notes are great! I’m thinking I get the gist of what’s missing and how I need to “tell the reader more.” You’ve done a fantastic job with thorough, thoughtful, critical yet supportive feedback. It didn’t hurt one bit. I know it’s got a ways to go, but that’s what this is about—growing as a writer and giving the stories the weight they deserve.
Corbin Lewars 